No Fair

I was in the kitchen last night making supper while the kids played in the living room. Of course the TV was on so when I heard Teagan say “no fair” I assumed it was because there some girl on a commercial playing with some new doll that she suddenly wanted. I didn’t respond because as all you moms know once you start that conversation it ends in whining about how badly they need that toy. So, I ignored it and Teagan said it again. I caved - “What’s no fair” I asked. Her response threw me off guard. “Its no fair that Tate got to be in your tummy last. I wanted to be the last one.” What was I going to say to that? I told her that they were both special because she got to be the first one in my tummy and Tate got to be last (anyone have suggestions for what to tell Tate if he becomes the middle child? That’s a whole different discussion) Teagan was content with that answer and went about her business watching Disney channel and mothering her brother.

I on the other hand couldn’t get her comment out of my head. Its true that she gets treated like she is older than 5 and has more responsibilities than she would if she didn’t have a younger sibling, but are we making her wish she was an only child? Or making her life as an older sibling more of a job than something she enjoys? Teagan, being a girl, has always seemed older than she is, but since Tate came into the picture she has become quite the little mother. Many times going way too far with the “nurturing”. We ask her to do things for us, but then scold her for going too far. I forget that she is only 5 and doesn’t understand that her role as a sister is different than the role of a mom.

Once again my children have made me wiser to the world and I have made it a personal goal to do a better job of when I ask her to help me with her brother. I am an older sibling and I know there are days when if allowed to, could have beat my brother to a pulp, but I wouldn’t change our relationship today. I don’t want my kids to resent each other because they were born. Whether first, last, or in the middle. Just some food for thought for those of you with multiple children or thinking about it. A side note about the picture at the top of this post - this is one of few pictures of Teagan by herself I took the last couple of months. A note to self "take pictures of the kids by themselves."